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Unread Feb 1st, 2011, 03:26 am
susan53 susan53 is offline
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Default Re: Leaning Tower of Pisa

Still a few mistakes :
1) huge sounds strange here - better : tall
2. Should be : with both his hands - or even better just with both hands
3. Sentence 4 : Avoid repeating photo by saying : The photo is a kind of fake ...
4. Enhancing is wrong. It means improving, or making more beautiful/valuable. You probably meant enlarging - ie making larger
5. This sentence also has two verbs with -ing - it sounds better if you change one. I'd write the whole sentence as :The photo is a kind of fake, which uses the optical illusion of perspective to make the man seem larger than he really is.
6. locates is wrong - it would have to be is located, but I prefer is standing. Similarly, poses should be is posing - it's not a habitual action but an on-going one at the moment the photo was taken.You also need a comma aftter actually, and near should be a comparative. The sentence should read : Actually, the man is standing much nearer to the camera and is just posing in order to look as if he is holding ....etc
7. Framing in the next sentence doesn't make sense. I think you mean : The composition of the photo...
8. The last sentence shouldn't be in a new paragraph - it's a continuation of the previous topic. Also I don't like outcome here. And why would ? ? It's not hypothetical- so :
... to see it. But even so, the result obtained in the photo is excellent and still appeals to us.
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Last edited by susan53 : Feb 1st, 2011 at 10:10 am.
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