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cella6625 May 31st, 2012 07:22 pm

difficult child
I need some help. I have a 4 yr old boy who is wonderful during the morning but after nap he's hard to handle. He runs from his teacher (and hides in the building) but the main problem that we are having is fighting. He recently pushed another child down and the other child received a black eye and today he choked that same child and left marks on his neck. I've talked to his parents and they have both done everything that they can. They have done a good behavior chart, rewarded him for good behavior and changed his diet. My teachers are at the end of their rope and so are his parents. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions I would appreciate it.

Chris Patton Jun 29th, 2012 10:45 pm

Re: difficult child
I know this is old-fashioned, and I may be completely vilified for suggesting it, but has anyone considered punishment?
You've mentioned that the parents have a good behaviour chart to reward him when he behaves well, but what about when he doesn't?
I'm not talking about physical abuse, I think in this sort of case sing corporal punishment would probably make things worse, but what about denying him things he enjoys when he misbehaves?
Maybe its so simple that it hasn't been mentioned, or maybe it just isn't being considered. Is he being sent to bed without being allowed to play/watch tv? Is he being denied his dessert or other treats when he misbehaves?
Positive reinforcement of good behaviour is great, but punishment for bad behaviour is also very effective.

aurays May 30th, 2014 05:48 am

Re: difficult child
Kids can be difficult to handle sometimes at this age, especially if they lose track of their limits. It is very important to reward their good behavior, but at the same time the kid has to be able to understand what his limits are and what the consequences of his misbehavior can be.
When it's an occasional thing, just talking directly to him, by using a calm tone but sounding serious and by getting on your knees so you are at the same eye level as he is, can be way more effective.
Also, when the misbehavior persists, removing some privileges can make the kid aware that he has misbehaved, but it's very important that those privileges are only taken for a short time (30 minutes or a couple of hours is enough) and that he understands the relation as to why they are taken away. Otherwise, when privileges are taken for days or weeks at a time, the kid tends to forget the reason why they got taken away in the first place.

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